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Note: Mister Linky has been encountering system issues but they will be back soon. The links that I have had on here will automatically reinstated as soon as possible. Thanks.

T.G.I.S.... Not!

When it rains, it pours. Haha brilliant. Yes kiddos it's raining again.. really hard. Flood around downtown. Sweet city. And hello to Mayor Trenas. haha. For the last week or so, the weather has been manic depressive. great billowing black clouds roll in, cry their hearts out for an hour, and then quietly recede to let calm, blue sky, placid and soft, watch the world below. Oftentimes the sun shines bright and high at noon, while clouds lay in wait around all the edges of the horizon. It looks like a beautiful day, but wait, just you wait, it says.

I'm tired from last night's work..but I still couldn't sleep. and this freakin' laptop always died on me.. it would hang and or it would just reset by itself. Strange. but I like it.. it's HP Pavillion dv6500t series with cam and mic built in. It looks classy and has a glossy finish...nothin' special..only that it has the highest speed wireless connectivity (I believe). It's been here for 9 months now. So what do you expect? hehe. Ok enough.

Ok, I've mentioned from my previous entry that I will be updating by next week..but here I am hehe. Well.. there's nothing much to update about.. I just feel like talking (write or type or whatever you call it). Nothin' much to write about.. I'm kinda bored..especially when it's raining..ugh. It makes me miss my boyfriend so much. But, he called around 11 am. So that made me feel better.. he was at the airport to pick up her sister. He was so sweet on the phone hehe.. and was making "pa-lambing" like a baby.. teasing of something that he knows I don't wanna hear.. and usually I would bitch/swear at him for teasing and he would say "your mouth!" in a loud voice. lol. So silly.

Anyway, I got tagged by Rosemarie.
Instruction: Each player of this game starts with 6 weird things about themselves. People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 6 weird things as well as state the rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave a comment that says you are tagged in their comments and tell them to read your blog.
So here's mine:

1. I would love to be a travel writer and live out of a suitcase.
2. I can't cook to save my life.
   
3. I love watching horror flicks, cover my eyes and miss the best part. But most of the time, I would cover up my ears so that I won't hear people around me screaming coz I'd do the same. lol.
4. I am shy. Especially when meeting new people. If you talk to me, I will talk to you, but never that I will open up for a conversation.
5. Sometimes I am incredibly entertained by those pro-eating disorder websites.
6. Sometimes i need to be insane to be sane.
   

So now I tag Hec, Lutz, Raymund, Pepe, Magiting, and Mantis.

That's it for now. If the it won't rain tonight.. then I will be going out. That means parteeeee and more booze!! :D... I better get some sleep. Wake me up when September Ends.

Crappy Entry

So today, I'm losing my voice. Nearly gone and nearly painless. I like it.
Change is in the air and all around me. It's such a powerful emotional thing, living. So wretchedly beautiful and painfully wonderful. So much love it can rip me apart.

Reminds me to be here now...right now, this minute.

Also..

I'm like craving for my weekends. Friends are planning to go out on a Saturday night.. but I am not sure if I can go out with them.. I have to ask my boyfriend first. Coz he might not want me to go out. I love him, and I respect him so much. I really admire him for being such a great dad for his kids.

Anyways, I think I need a clear mind. I think I'm going back to drinking, and I'm still not sure of when will I decide to have a break from it. I know it's stupid getting wasted again. I was talking to my friend over the phone about this last night.. I dont know what happened to make me change my mind. AAGGH, silly shit.

this will be my last entry for this week. I'm so frenzied with work.. and things have been changing around me. I be back for the updates next week.

I'm Cautiously Happy

Daammnn backache! Sometimes i wish I were a worm!

Oh me, oh my.. So, I have been feeling like complete shit lately.. maybe my friend was right, but sometimes it just makes me feel worse..

oh, decisions. this or that. up or down. afterward or backward.
the only thing I know as a matter of fact is that my back hurts... but not even as painful as how I felt lately.

Yesterday I have realized that I'm in an interesting period of personal growth and introspection. No matter what I feel not much more clear about anything than I did back 7 months ago, but I think I've figured a few things out. Especially about relationships. Also, my friend circle is growing and I no longer want to be alone. I'm not feeling as restless. The dynamics of my last relationship were so screwed up that I have forgotten, a little, how to be a girlfriend... in some ways, that is. I'm second-guessing things, over thinking things, blah blah blah. But, it's good.

So my motto in life has always been:

"EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON!" (lol)

Often times I sure as hell can't figure out those reasons, but I have faith in fate that things happen as they are meant to,... bad or good.

Maybe I shall also adopt the mantra:

"NO MORE SADNESS! NO MORE SADNESS! NO MORE SADNESS!" (please.. if possible i don't wanna be sad)

I am going to synchronize those two sentences, chant them, grit my teeth,follow my instincts, and suck it all in. Then hopefully by the end of the day yours truly will be puking fluffy cotton candy, have pink unicorns coming out of my ears, and be shooting rainbow laser beams out of my eyeballs.

Well, that's my goal, anyhow. We shall see what happens....

On a happier note:
Lol. My friend commented on my previous entry which made me laugh. also,my boyfriend has been taking care of me and treating me like a princess, which has made things much much easier on me. Things are ok now. I love my boy so much!

Hah! Try taking him away from me and I swear I will take you to the grave with me!

lol!

I Hate Myself!

They say that when all you do is laugh the whole time, tears will set right in. This is what happened to me today. My boyfriend and I had an arguement this morning, but resolved the issue right away. We have this agreement that he should tell me things that I need to know. Unfortunately, this time he missed telling me that. We met at Starmart last night, right after he came from the hospital. His cousin was also there. So from there, he could have told me something.. but he failed to do that. Until he dropped me off in my workplace. So this morning I then found out something, maybe for him it’s no big deal..but for me it is..though it’s just a little stuff. My point is… he could have told me right away. We have an agreement. An agreement, to be open with each other. Because I would still understand. Even if I get hurt, I still deserve to know. So after my work, I went straight to McDonalds to buy him food and went to his office right away..I just said “bahala na” to myself. He was uneasy when he saw me,and so was I. When I was about to leave he pulled me right in..hugged me, and kissed me.. and he said “it’s ok”. I understood what he meant by that. The best thing that he did was to say sorry. Coz not all people can afford to say that.

So after I left his area, I went to the beach.. and got a calming realization watching the waves..alone. And from there.. I was like somewhere..where I don’t know where I am..mentally, at least.

I sometimes get feelings like this.. it’s kinda hard to explain.. And while watching the waves, basically my whole brain was filled with flashbacks, to the point where I almost forget where I was physically, but I cant fully grasp where I am mentally.

Again, the reason we had an argument was not a big of a deal. ITS JUST ME. I am a mental retard. I just hate who I am. I am a such a small weak jealous person now.

I called my guy friends..i cried because I felt really sad… then i stopped crying because i realized that im just being stupid. And I still feel stupid right now. Then I feel kinda bummy and cranky. But but I got cheered up by these cool friends in lots of different ways. So maybe I should pay them a visit sometime soon.

Anyway, Hec and I are now chatting. Things are ok. He said sorry, and I did the same to him. The important thing is that, we have accepted each other’s mistakes.

I now need a good sleep.

Make Some Waves!

Time is fleeting. I try to live so hard and as true to myself as possible. i think about it a lot. It's not about saving up for the future or having perfect credit or owning assets and budgeting money. It's about the good things, that make your hair stand on end and keep your senses paying attention. Loving and playing and feeling peace and giving peace. Taking care of each other, being a solid person in what you think, how you feel, what you say and what you do.

are we reactionary to the planets and moon cycles .. are we destined in life?

It's crazy how life is so profound and mysterious and fleeting. I'm just really glad that I'm not caught in the masses who just WORK, WORK, WORK, slog along, do it right, follow the rules and don't make waves. so this is why I'm making some waves!

This happens if we have a lot of free time in our hands.
See us in different angles..hehe!

And here are the images from the other day:






Geez! Bad hair day. I just arrived, and no time to fix it. Hehehe.
Other than that, I'm all smiles and happy!

3rd Monthsary! of kisses, love, movies, and good food

Oh wow the sun is up! So time for an update! I didn't go out on a Saturday night because of the heavy rain fall. I really miss the night life. *stamps foot*
Guess what.. it's our 3rd monthsary! Yay! We are not celebrating today because we had celebrated in advance. Look, I got smacked!
<--We just woke up hehe!

<--He got me a cutie boney pillow! We had a super fun weekend together. I am so happy.

Saturday - Hec met me up at SM City together with my friends around 11am.. but my friends were too sleepy so they went home by 2pm. Hec and I have decided to watch a movie.. we were choosing between 1408 and Skinwalkers.. he said he already have watched 1408, but I haven't yet.. but he insisted that we should watch Skinwalkers.. to our dismay, that movie was crappy! I think Hec was misleaded by the poster and thought it would be a nice movie. Funny thing is.. werewolves didn't use their hunting skills..but used more of their guns. Lol. don't waste your money for a movie like this.

One word for this movie. SUCKS! Why?

• No plot


• No visual effects


• No action

Sunday - So he made "bawi" coz I was complaining how crappy Skinwalkers was. And we did watch 1408, starring John Cusack..He is Mike Enslin here..a writer who doesn't believe much in paranormal, but writes about it for a living. I don't wanna talk more about this, because I don't want to spoil your interest just in case you might wanna watch this movie.



So my thoughts on 1408:

• the visuals are very tricky

• good scares

• but the ending is "bitin", it should have been more clear

I think it's based on Stephen King's short story.. I'm not sure though hehe. At first I thought it would really scare the shit outta me.. Well.. I have to admit I was covering my eyes from the start coz I really thought it's scary.. and Hec was like laughing at me and was trying to remove my hands from my eyes. Everytime he did that I would sneak in to his jacket or would hug him and he was like pushing me away! So bad hehe. I'm a fan of scary/horror flicks.. though I hate to hear myself scream and see myself jump off my seat. lol. Why do I like scary movies? --- uhmm..must be the chill factor. And then, I'll have nightmares for days and end up thinking something is out to get me. Just like the japanese film The Doll Master. I really had nightmares after watching this movie. I could even see the doll's image in my dreams, lol.

Ok back to our date, so after the movie.. Hec wanted to have dinner at Ihaw-Ihaw (Smallville), unfortunately, it was closed..So we end up having dinner at Marina's.. together with his bestfriend, Tomas.

He is also my friend and the one responsible why I met Hec. :D This was taken 6 months ago at Flow (Smallville). Hec was the one who took the picture.

Images

Some people I know are just here for the pictures. Nosy people would always do this hehehe. Reading is not their thing, they only care for the visuals. Hahaha.

I present to you me, Hec, and my friends on Flickr.


You can view some of the pics from here:
Multiply

Feelin' Better

Sorry I have to delete some comments to protect their privacy (at least). I'm not that evil to put her name here. So forget about my previous post. And I don't feel like whinin' or b*tchin' again today *takes a deep breath*. besides, Hec doesn't wanna hear me swearing at people. He picked me up from the office and he head off to work. And I, went straight to my Aunt's house coz I had to fix her 'puter. So far, the pc worked a bit fine. So.. Hec and I were chatting..voice chat to be exact. In fact, he just bitched at me..lol. coz he heard me swore again. sweeeeett! :D

Also...

I went to see my doc and had a health appraisal. So far I'm ok.. no more medication. He also said I'm overweight! I need to lower my cholesterol and I need to gain more lean mass.

What does this mean...?

To eat less crap, have more ***, and dye my hair black.

It's a friday. Yay! However, I don't know what the weekends will have for me, since I don't even have anything planned yet.

P.S.

I like this beautiful outfit.





Victorian style. Sooo beautiful. The corset alone looks like it would rape your wallet.

Have a great weekend!

I want to spit on your face, come closer I'm gonna tell you why!

Right..praise yourself! Pathetic loser.

I don't understand why other people can't move on with their own lives? Oh well.. how can this person(insert name here) be happy if she's alone anyway.. tsk tsk. too bad. Too damn obvious she is envious.. jealous.. insecure..
That's sad. and please, at least give yourself a R-E-S-P-E-C-T.
Ya win some, ya lose some? Can't she just accept that? Or is this a trend in sour graping that I'm not aware of? Please enlighten me coz I'm out of the loop.

I don't know is she is aware of the word "the f*** up" man. To a certain degree..from what I know just today is why i susbscribe to the old James Brown tune, "Talkin Loud, Sayin' Nothin". or maybe i would write a song "loud mouth talking sh*t". Perhaps it will be the remake inspired by the original. Hah! I hope she will soon feel better! But i don't think there is now a cure for insecurity. Eh?

Prangka ko nga tawo..magkitaay kme ihambal ko gid ang dapat nya mabatian.

Nightwish

Have you guys heard Nightwish "Amaranth"? It was released August 24th though.. and it has different versions that was released on the 31st of August. For the benefit of those who doesn't know yet, "Amaranth" is the band's first single from the album "Dark Passion Play". The single was released ahead of the album. And they have a new singer here.. Anette Olzon (formerly of the group Alyson Avenue) who replaces Tarja Turunen.

The album "Dark Passion Play" will be released officially by the end of September via Nuclear Blast Records.

So you guys must listen to the single first and tell me what you think about it. Because when I first heard "Eva".. i was kinda worried hehe. Because Anette sounds like more of regular pop singer. God, I still love Tarja! But don't get me wrong here.. I'm not saying I don't like Annette, her voice is ok. Anyway, it's not about her..it's not about the vocalist, it's about music. As long as they make Nightwish music together.. then I will forever like Nightwish.. Although it was still amazing with Tarja.. So far I'm not disappointed with Annette.. there might be a little difference with the vocals.. but it's not that bad. I just hope they don't go pop. Hehehe.

See Amaranth video.

Here are the images:

Anette Olzon

Tarja Turunen

With Anette

With Tarja

Backstabbers!

I know you read this. and then do yourself a favor and get your own life.

I would be concerned if i wasn't so disgusted. damn suckers i hate you both. i thought i was bummed out alright. The more i thought about it.. my bad mood wasn't as a result from what i assumed must be the source. In fact, it was actually coming from a place of disgust. Now, stay with me for a minute here (except for the two of you... who can promptly stop reading my shit. Get your own lives and talk about something other than my business when you're out on a date.. wait.. no.. actually finish reading this post.. then stop reading my shit.)..because this urking feeling is not coming from one thing.. its a series of events that the two of you have done that has utterly creeped me out/ pissed me off.

First of all.. as she told me, all they talk about is me when they hang out. So.. if you like each other how about talking about something else.? Like... who you are. He says he likes her.. he also said that when he likes someone he wants to get to know them... so stop trying to pry on me when you are with her.. don't you think, perhaps.. just maybe you should be asking her questions about HER?? Now.. second problem.. i talked to her in privacy. I told her my personal business. i specifically said.. DO NOT TELL HIM about what we have talked about in private. but she did tell him. All i can picture is the two of them hanging out and having nothing interesting of their own going on .. then getting really uncomfortable by their lack of interesting things to say and her quickly bolting out what i told her not to. so for that...YOU SUCK! you are not a friend. you are not someone i am interested in hanging out with. you are a back stabbing biatch willing to volunter information to a stupid shithead you know is playing a stupid game with you. hope it works out for you two and all.. cause you just threw away a friendship over a crush probably because you were incapable of thinking of anything interesting to say. brilliant. sooo brilliant!

Btw, i told this girl that i have found out that this guy is making a deal with his friends for P2000.. (yeah that cheap) if he got to have her say "yes" to him. And she wouldn't want to believe me because she likes him that much. I was just being concerned with her. But she disclosed this to the guy. Damn stupid.

And when the girl confronted the guy..he told her i was only making up stories because i still like him. The nerve. Stop flattering yourself. And I can ask your friends whom you had a deal with.

And moving on to the next insult which is added to the injury of it all... he decides it's his place to boisterously announce to all the information he has received from the above mentioned person. So for that, F*** YOU! Maybe your brain is not capable of holding thoughts of that proportion. Perhaps if you had some substance of your own you wouldn't be so concerned with my life as well. To answer your question, i'm not interested in you. i haven't been since i stopped showing you interest. You are wrong... which explains why i laughed. i dont play games. although i know that blowing you off only makes you more interested, because you only want what you can't have as a way to avoid intimacy.. again I WAS/AM GENUINELY NOT INTERESTED. it was not a ploy to make you like me more. i showed you interest when i was interested, i stopped when i was not!

Now.. isn't that a much more efficient way to live?! no guessing, no questioning. So to the two of you..who have nothing better to talk about on your dates than me. YOU ARE BOTH LAME ASS LOSERS. And seriously.. i'm not interested in hearing "we just talk about you cause we like you so much" .. no you talk about me cause your life is so uninteresting you have to talk about mine.

Consider this my parting gift.. you can talk about this for your next couple of dates.. then you're on your own!

I may as well put your names on here next time.

Disappointed

Mom and I had a serious talk last night before I went to work. We talked about how things got into this point... on how things started to be like this and that.. on how I could have been a better individual if only I did this and that..

I'm a happy go lucky person..

What's happening with my life now is the risk I took for not being like what they wanted me to be..

And I just came from a calming realization today..

So..that made me recall when He said.. all is negative.

He is right.

And what is positive then?.... i dont' know if i can make him proud..

Will the green light appear for me?

i don't know. I will just leave it in hopes hands for some recognition of my changes.
Just like what I would always say.. to cherish what I have now..whether it be my hate or love for myself.

I don't know if i still want to step one foot forward.

I think I'm lost.

Sick and Needs Hug

I'm super sick. I have been dealing with a big headache since last week. Also, been suffering from chest pain. I missed my night life though.. that made me really sad. hahaha. concern pa ko dyapun sa night life ko..lol.

Saturday - After work.. I had breakfast with my friend only at McDonalds.. walked around SM City... Met up with my boyfriend in the afternoon. I was supposed to go out on a Saturday night.. but an evil headache striked again.. So I've decided i'd stay home..plus it rained really hard.. so that made me curl up to bed. Friends were texting though..half of me really wanted to go..but i felt tired.

Sunday - Didn't leave the house the whole day..coz my head and chest felt like it was going to burst.. also.. it was raining non-stop. Hec and I were just texting.. it should be our day together but he went to visit his kids at his ex's house. He still managed to text me though he was like baby sitting.. sweeeett. :D I think it's her daughter's birthday today. Also, I got numerous text messages from an anonymous person.. our fan. Hec knows who she is.

Around 2am today.. I was rushed into the hospital because I had trouble breathing. It's the sickness I've had since in under 3 months. Weird coz I don't smoke. So the Doc sent me home around 11 am today. However, i'm on super duper 4 tablets a day.. I am ok now. I'm home feeling like death.. swallowing these tablets like they are going out of fashion. Argh. But i'm still working tonight though. ;)

And just 15 minutes ago..

i received a phone call from a woman i didn't know. It seems I made a mistake awhile back and sent "Thank you" to her husband's cell phone. She was very pissy and rude to me about it. Even after I explained to her that i made a mistake with the numbers (coz i wrote the numbers in a piece of paper which is not yet stored in my cellphone's phone book)... which is why it was wrong sent in the first place! I told her I was 24 (lol, not my real age), had no idea who this guy was, and wasn't about chasing anyone's husband.

Long story short..... She said, "kon ang bana mo may nabaton nga text halin sa indi mo kilala nga number, inde mo ayhan pagtawgan"? Trans: "If your husband had a text message from a number you didn't recognize, wouldn't you call it?" I said, "Inde eh, mamangkot lang ko siguro pero depende lng sa imo ya sitwasyon". Trans: "No, I would probably ask him about it... but I guess that just depends on your own unique situation." Then she tried telling me that simply asking about things like this doesn't always work out well, and that sometimes (after fifteen years of marriage apparently) you have to conduct your own little investigations. I wanted to ask her why she was poking around and searching through his things anyway? After all, they are married, don't they trust each other? She managed to mention in our short conversation that they've had problems with him cheating before...

Surprised? No. Disgusted? A little.

I felt like calling her back and say... I don't even know your name, but "Thank you" for discouraging my dreams of true intimacy and an honest marriage over once and for all. So I guess this is what i have to look forward to now. Lol, kidding. But this really depends on the situation.

So right now.. I just wanna cuddle up with Hec.. but chances are, he'll get sick too.

Exhausted

I wasn't going to work last night, but around 8pm i could actually get up and move, so I made the journey to work. Only to encounter some problems within our team. I am SO glad it's Saturday! Work has been awful lately, and it made me feel worse, and I've been craving my weekends.

I got text messages from friends wanting to know why i wasn't out making a complete trash bag of myself on friday night (last night). Part of me really wanted to go out, just to see those who i haven't seen in a while.

i have a feeling saturday night is going to be a lot of fun!

It's 7:35 am. Tired. I need snuggles, passionate kisses and a good sleep.

The Logic - Funny And A Good Point :D

Slow connection. This has been happening for almost a week now. and yesterday was the worst, and sucks too coz damn laptop died on me.. the power was down actually. Brownout! Crap crap crap! Argh. And so I've decided to get some Z's (sleep).

Crazy.


Okay, if any of you kids like metal, go to http://razorbackrecords.com/ and check out Splatterhouse. It's some damn killer shit (hella), just thought i would let you know. let me know what you think about Splatterhouse... (even though i already know you will think it's awesome). \m/

And someone sent me this silly forwarded email which actually made me chuckle:

What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But ,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that while Hardwork and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top.

Hahaha.

Hec was supposed to pick me up from work today, but we had a meeting a while back. *sad face*. i'm hoping we are gonna see each other tonight, and have some coffee together. Ugh. I better sleep this off.

That's it for today.

Things Are Moving Along

It has been raining.. drip dropping, plip plopping....from the sky's mouth.
the rain sometimes cleans the scuffs from the earth, if only temporarily adding some shine and gloss to an otherwise all too ugly world...

On a happier note: my man and I had a good talk last night..well we were just texting hehe. I miss him already. It has been two days that we haven't seen each other. It's like a world crisis for me. argh.

I leave you with this pic..hehe. three days ago- this was the morning after at home. waaaahh! lol.
Spoilers! Just click to view.

And just a while back.. with Raymund

Live Life To The Fullest

...more love, new perspective.

I have been dreaming every night (well..in daytime..coz im working night shift)...intense dreams. I had been dreamless or only having the occasional dream for a long while.

So, I'm gonna hit the sack for now..I have been indulging my sleep desires. Its a great thing to indulge your desires. I was just reading the philosophy of a person who wrote that but the name I can't remember....later I will check.

What do you want to do with your life? Me? I want to ride the wave of life as best I can without steering too much, you know what I mean? I want to sit at the crest and go with the flow. Its hard to do. It takes work not to want to paddle foward or swim back or dive under .

Karma, fate and balance....

Love the earth.

Bliss

I Had a good weekend.

Saturday- Got drunk. Started drinking early, like around 10 am with my friend, wandered around drinkin-talking-drinkin-talking....Ended up at my mom's old house (her father's house)and been drinking non-stop.

Sunday- my mother took an amazing care of us :) Around 6am today, she and my sister left for Cebu. But they are coming back on Wednesday though. I was still sleeping when they left..she just left me a note. so yesterday she was feeding me books to read hehehe, rounds of talking and delicious foods.
Also, I got to meet up with my boyfriend in the afternoon.


Today I basically feel like I am re-born: this morning was like it's so easy to get up, though I am missing some people. Ahh.. the sky is grey and the clouds tell me things are doing great. I am not really looking forward to new adventures... I wish I could just keep some of this peace with me throughout the year... the upcoming year.

Simplify.
Talk less and think more.
Take care of myself.
Take care of my boyfriend.
Make a plan instead of living for what's going to happen tomorrow or next week.
Stability.

And for just a little while, I will clean my room and meet my boyfriend after 5pm- Wallah! I'm excited. I feel happy and quiet. I am full of love for my life..and thankful for a perspective that fills me with appreciation for experience....I love my life,..the entire spectrum of it, my family, my friends and my boyfriend. I have known the really remote ends of the spectrum and all in between on a unpredictable but consistant continuum, my entire life....it drops my heart out on the ups and the downs, whirls around crazy, crazy then slows slower and slower till it stops.

Have a great day everyone!

Whappak!

Ok, this is what happened today. I was standing at Dunkin' Donuts kiosk when I saw my ex standing at the magazine stand. His Aunt and his gf were with him. I was really freaking out coz I don't want him to see me. I was like telling the donut lady that I'm in a hurry, unfortunately she has no change. I waited there for like five minutes until she found some change. The more I want him (the ex) not to see me, the more luck I get. Lol. Ok, so he saw me.. I walked away really fast but he was following me. So the gf also followed him..running. To make this short, my ex and I had a lil chit chat.. he asked me if when would be the best time that he can talk to me. I told him there's nothing more to talk about. Then I turned my back from him. But I looked back though. hahhaha. I saw him talking to his gf.. they were like arguing.. and she slapped him. hahahaha! Amusing.

I just feel like sharing this....

Why is it that some girls think it's okay to tell their boyfriends what to do because they know they're passive enough to not argue about it? Or even to slap him in the face because he pointed out a girl (me) he was interested in while they have broken up? After she already knew about me? This happened long ago though.. Someone I cared about was in this situation, and he had been in it long enough to think this kind of sh*t is okay, that it was always his fault when they fight, and that "some people just need control like that." No. No they don't. It's abusive and wrong and no one deserves that. I don't understand these stupid immature b*tches at all. Love is not about control or ownership.

I hate it when I got to remember that. She slaps him again, I slap her. Plain and simple. I don't stand for that sort of sh*t at all.

I'm so sick of it!

I hate it when I send out a really important email to a really intelligent person and discover later that I had a very obvious typo. Crap!

I feel exhausted, and tired.. it takes too much effort to sit straight. Been working up all night, and yes I have an evil coffee with me.

You know, there are different types of people at work (Ops floor)... there are people (insert names here) that are so lame. Petty, nitpicky, ill-informed however willing to share, dumb besides, unwilling to read or listen and on top of it.. hold opinions that are based in no sort of fact? And then try to convince you they are right? I've found that if I think about it for long enough I can come up with good reasons for nearly all my ethical beliefs... perhaps not aesthetic... but quite a few of those, too.

Maybe they should take some time to think things through before they start talking to me.

Tired

I'm really so tired today. I have got the biggest headache of the whole brain history, this is the only thing I know as a matter of fact. Tee-hee!

Crazy people at work haha. Wanna know their favorite pastime? Check out the latest chismax update here. Lol!

Chismax!

I came up with an idea..just like the "All In A Days Work" from the Reader's Digest for the Hannibal King's (Lutz) blog , however he came up with the category of Chismax ni Marie.. hahah somewhat like the "Blind Items". Bongga nga mga idea, lol. I didn't know this guy is also a gossip monger hahaha! Geez! You won't believe me? Why not lurk into his blog right here.

Argh. I drank too much coffee. I feel jittery and my vision is a little bit blurry. Nothing much to update though. I just wanna let you know that I'm happy.

Leche!

I feel like I will be on an emotional rollercoaster ride.., and I think I might really be in the climax of it all...sometime soon. A better way to put it would be more like saying I hit "rock bottom" if that happens. and I don't want it to happen. I really hope that everything goes up from here, because I don't know how much more of this sh*t I can take. Seriously.

And f*ck all the jealous bitches out there. Don't just assume that you know everything. Stop talking mud sh*t to someone you don't know. Take the time to get to know someone before you judge anyone.

Contact Me

YM - mariejo_six
GTalk- mariejo.six

Email me:
mortiferbarba@yahoo.com
mortiferbarba@gmail.com

My life in the shell of a nut..well..sorta ;)

So, the long wait has ended. whew! I am so happy! ;) (8/31 post)

I had a fun weekend! Really! Though I didn't go clubbing with my friends on a saturday night (that's because I was so tired and went to sleep early - 9pm), but I did enjoy the time I had with my boyfriend on Sunday. We met up with his cousin at Oxens, (it's a resto cafe)...I only had a couple of beer while my boyfriend drank his way way too much. he got drunk! Grr. We went to SM after we got to hang out with his cousin. And I had to stop him from doing funny things that could have embarassed us at the mall hahaha!

And he called this morning that he will be absent for work coz he has lots of things to do today. So I accompanied him to the bank, paid his credit card bills (good grief), we had lunch together. And then we met up again in the afternoon and got to watch him play basketball hehehe.

I say I had a super fun date since yesterday.

Waiting...

*taps foot*

I'm waiting VERY impatiently on an important thing to happen...it was supposed to happen by the 30th of August. Today is the 31st..still nothing. I'm getting really nervous.

And yesterday was confusing.. today is even moreso.

Waaaaahhh!