Fear of Spiders

a·rach·no·pho·bi·a (ə-răk'nə-fō'bē-ə, -nō-) n. - is an abnormal fear of spiders.

If you hate spiders, don't read this.

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH
BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH.....

I just had what I think is a spider in my mouth. It was cream colored, crawled into my coffee and i drank it. I spat it out thinking it was a leaf or something that accidentally made it into my mug. I'm not sure whether to throw up or not care. I don't like tarantulas.. even little spiders. And eye socket sized spiders creep me right out. So in searching for what spider it was I find myself sweating at all the close-ups that spiders that could crawl into my mouth and i could wake up choking on them.

Oh man. One of these days I will get over it. A childhood trauma actually is the reason for the spider size fear thing. The medium sized spider thing. I don't like them.

It was a cream colour and small and tender in my mouth. Hahaha, but I may have cooked it heating it up in the microwave. Are the cream ones poisonous? Should I be drinking lots of water? (not really up for drinking anything but my mouth feels really REALLY dry...). I mean, i was chewing on it. It's the puffy texture that got me the most. Eeek.

I Hate People Taking Advantage Of My Helpfulness

I am a grown woman and i am tired of people thinking they can step on me - they cannot!

If i contribute equally to something and someone tries to overpower me in my own damn world... it's just ri-god-damn-diculous. I am a nice person and that is uncalled for. Well, I'm nice if they're nice to me. What pisses me off is.. I helped this person when closing the deal. I could have taken that sh*t! That's like spoon feeding already! This person could have realized that. And blaming me for not getting all the info and interrupting me while I was in the middle of closing my own damn deal in a sea of "mine mine mine bug it and die"?

If I could roll my eyes anymore I'd be a character in "Clueless".

My Priorities

I had a little talk with a friend who is younger than me, we talked about how her boyfriend questions her priorities. I listened and told her that it's her life she's dealing with as she will. All i did was to dispense advice in which she takes or not. And from that conversation, i came to think about mine.

Aside from my family, these are my priorities:

1. My health. This is the most important thing of all. Mental or physical, I can't be productive without either.
2. To love my work more. Having the means to support myself so I am not out living on the streets.
3. Get a degree. Just because I don't want to do it a certain way doesn't mean I don't want to do it at all. However, I have to live life in such a manner that allows me to take care of myself.
4. My happiness. Because he keeps me lively and sparkling.

Whoever questions my priorities isn't worth knowing me.


Piece of advice for everyone:
No one else knows what's better for you than you. Don't get caught up in someone else's expectations no matter how much they threaten or bully you. Bullying is just a last resort in a for those who feel like they are losing control. There are kinder and more effective ways to reach someone but just because you want to help a person you care for doesn't mean assuming control of their life and what they want to do. The best way you can aid someone is by listening to them and helping them follow their dreams. If you can't do that, you are simply of no help at all.

If you can't understand this, you are probably not a good person. Who am I to judge? I am me, and I have to live this life, not you.

Marked By Big Changes

My brain is all scattered today. I have sooo much stuff that I need to take care of but I just can't make myself do it.

And today, I feel like I'm on the verge of a big change in my life. Things are really picking up on me. But it's makes me nervous because I don't want to lose it, but at the same time I have this tinkling of what I could really accomplish in my life and the kind of changes I could affect here. It's exciting and scary at the same time.

Whew! I'm going to take a break..(again he he he). I'm off to Boracay on Saturday, for a 3-day vacation. The last time I was there was in March 2nd. And Hectril is coming with me this time. :D

I will leave you with these pictures that were taken just awhile back:
Cuddling.

Stolen shot he he he.

Green + Pink = Lovely Girlfriends

Xtiane and I are often found wearing pink and/or green, or sometimes a combination of both. But it's not that we always wear the same colors of clothes everyday - that's the least a normal person would do. He he he.

Taken today:


...and I thought I would post some that were taken before.




Therefore: Xtiane was made to be pink and Marie was made to be green.

It's Our 9th Monthsary!

Oh.. it's our 9th Monthsary!

Last night, I got a surprise visit from Hectril! He went to our house around 6pm, and had dinner together. At first I thought he was still in Carles, as what he had told me when we were texting. He was telling me he couldn't go back in the city because their car broke down. The next thing I know, he was standing in our doorstep! Silly Hecky poo. hehehe.

Being with him last night made me feel really better. and being with him always makes me a 'Happy Marie'. :)

Holy Week Observance

So how did you spend your Holy Week? I spent it with my family and relatives, I was planning of going somewhere else to spend the Holy Week but my Mom wouldn't let me. Because each year, we culminate with the solemn observance of Christian rituals..and pagan rituals as well. It's a nationwide observance that is really both moving and touching. She told me i should celebrate it with them with total solemnity, and not to have fun. he he he.

So... from Monday to Good Friday...it is always packed with ceremonies and traditions. And many people still practice not eating any pork/chicken/beef during the Lenten Season. And I am one of them.

Every year, we observe the Holy Week with my family at our old house, and during Holy Thursday and Good Friday, we would join the procession with our own statue of St. Veronica. I haven't uploaded the pictures yet, but I will have it posted here.

I have to say Happy Easter or what's left of it that is.

One Of The Best Days Ever

So.. my birthday celebration went pretty well, though it was not grand. Hec just had dinner at our house; he met my parents and had a good talk with my mom. I'm just super happy. :)

We are just getting more and more interesting to say the least.

So today is Holy Thursday. No work until friday. Yay! Looooonng vacation. :D


P.S.
Thank you for all the birthday wishes.
I will be back for the updates next week.

It's My Birthday!

Go shorty! It's your birthday
We gon' party like it's yo birthday.. - 50 Cent

I'm officially 28 years old. Not getting any younger, eh? He he he. There will be a big party tonight..hehehe kidding. Just a small dinner at home, and Hec is coming over. Hopefully everything goes well.

Look at me 28 years ago hahaha. this was taken during my Baptismal Day- May 24, 1980.


Happy Natal Day to me! :D

What Do My Stars Say About Me

Tomorrow is my birthday. :D

Funky and Spunky

Saturday was a good time. And it's been a while since I had one. Great weekend, really. Danced the night away with some really awesome people - with my officemates, the OM and CEO. we didn't give a damn about anyone else or anything else but having a good time. Good music and dancing all night are just about the best we can hope for in this life. I think. Cool and interesting people flock in the club...and the drunks always put on a show of some sort. Everyone was in a good space and happy. But I could be happier if Hec was there. Aww..

It was a good way of kicking off our stressful weekend. We deserve it.

That's it for now. I sound redundant already.

It's How I Am

1 step forward, 83 steps back, 19 steps to the left, 3000 steps some other way. Seems to be the pattern for the month.

Good God, I'm the biggest dork on the face of the earth. Well... i've been told so. And I figured... I'm a little bit odd at times.

I am actually considering the fact that I could be mentally and emotionally screwed up in more ways than one. I know that a lot of people are, if not most. But I feel this case to be a little different. I go off for no reason. I have extreme mood swings, but I usually don't show it. And I know how to hide my feelings. I have phases of extreme joy and excitement in simple things. And then within a day, if not a few hours, I'm in a state where I'm completely displeased with everything. I sometimes take things personally, and become freakishly attached to anyone and everyone.

The more I observe myself, the more things I find that aren't quite usual.

*sigh* I got bored and took this quiz.

I Scored a 100%!

A Lil Fact About Moi

Got this tag from Eds!

I AM… better at this than you. :p

I WANT… to be 18 forever.

I HAVE… so many things piling up in my head.

I WISH… for world peace. hehehe.

I HATE… people who are heartless and inconsiderate of other's feelings .

I FEAR… death

I SEARCH… for answers at times

I WONDER… if you're reading this post.

I REGRET… quite a few things.

I LOVE… Hectril!

I ALWAYS… forget to tell some people that I love them and how much they mean to me.

I AM NOT… at my worst.

I DANCE… if I like the music

I SING… only in the bathroom. :p

I CRY… for little things; when things are messed up; if i feel like the world hates me.

I WRITE… in english. About stuffs that I can think of.

I WON… the drama queen award.. grand slam!

I AM CONFUSED… why it is difficult to live within the system with hands totally untainted.

I NEED… more sleep adjustment.

I SHOULD… be fully aware of what is going on around me.

THE LAST THOUGHT YOU GO TO SLEEP WITH IS… set my alarm clock because I'm always late for work.

My Birthday is Coming Up

I got a couple of awesome birthday cards.. one from Pamela and Michelle and it was rad- thanks! My birthday is coming up REALLY soon. I'll be 28 on the 19th. Awww.. i feel like an old lady. Anyways, I'm planning of going back to Boracay by the end of the month to celebrate my birthday there, and Hec is coming with me of course. This has been our plan since last month. I just hope things will go according to plan.

Also, my boss is planning to have our 2nd team building in Boracay as well, and that's on the 29th.

Whew. What an interesting month. One of the most complex, and intriguing times of my life. I don't think I've ever really been this rushed, busy and in and out of everything, in such a short time span.

And also thank you so much for those of you who left early greetings and comments on my Friendster.

The Same Exact Thing

I got tagged by Imelda . Here is my 5-day weather forecast:

Today - Partly sunny. A slight chance of showers.
Wednesday - Mostly sunny. A chance of showers.
Thursday - Becoming partly cloudy. A slight chance of showers.
Friday - Partly cloudy. A slight chance of evening showers.
Saturday - Considerable cloudiness with a chance of showers.

I'm not tagging anyone, as usual. I don't really know if I'm following the tag hehehe. Thanks Imelda! ;)

Random Thinking

So far today...well..lately, has been all about deep thinking. Thinking...and more thinking. I can't stop THINKING. It keeps me from sleeping, from eating, from laughing..but it also keeps me creating and writing down new ideas. I know where I want to end up...but I don't know what choices to make along the way. Choices...

Do you believe we really make them? Or do you believe it is an illusion and that our choices are pre-destined?

Sometimes I wonder...

I wonder all the time about a lot, when I'm alone. My mind just doesn't stop. Is this what I get for having insomnia? And being an insomniac leaves me extra time to get lost in my thoughts.

***Random***
Well, I had a pretty weekend. Been sleeping the whole Saturday, and spent the day with Hectril. We watched a movie, grabbed ourselves alcoholic beverages, and had a fun talk. And cuddles of course. You wouldn't want to know what happened after that.

And today, I feel like I'm floating. Like i'm high on something. Weird. Hmmm.. after I'm done here, I need to hop home. Hectril is picking me up. With any luck he will be here before 7:30am.. making him late for his work. And he will be busy the whole day at work, while I will be busy sleeping. I hope I can get an 8 hour sleep...and dream of something nice.

Motivation and Confidence, Please!

I need some motivation or at least confidence to be more productive in my job. Because lately, I noticed I have been slacking and been lazy to perform. I don't know what's happening with me now. I used to be a performer and it just became easy. And oh I have been working in this company for almost a year. Now I'm not even getting along with some..well..stuffs, and customers are just plain rude and it is mind numbingly annoying!

I want to go back to school.

Photo Editing

Sometimes I pronounce 'pictures' as 'pitchers'. Hmm.. well, here are some photos I played with.

***I applied sepia to make the photo look old, adjusted for like 70%, added borders and a little film grains for the effects.



***I applied paint a.k.a watercolor for the effect, with the capacity set to 25%, applied white matte border, then I adjusted the hue and messed up with the color and exposure.



***Applied paint a.k.a watercolor for the effect, applied matte border, adjusted the border to 15% and soften it. I made adjustments for the hue, and added some shape.


[Awww..bloated! grrrr!]

Anyway, those are just the basic Photoshop tricks. I know you can do better. ;)

Have a great weekend everyone!

Friend Requests (2)

So I need to address this....again.

I am so lazy about Friendster friend requests. I never remember to approve them. And also i only like having people on my friends list that I actually know or talk to. Please don't be offended if I never approved or accepted your request. I'm just lazy. I'm writing about this again because i looked up in the corner beside my profile picture and realized that i had 16 friend requests. I don't know them anyway, so I did not approve. And at times, I would go over my friends list and delete some of them..hehehe.

Related Post:
Friend Requests and Random Messages

Anyway.. I got bored and played with this pic:

Kiddie Rides Are For Adults Only

Now, who says kiddie rides are made for children? I just love these shots! Hahaha!

Related post:
Sweet Escape

Karma Will Get You

I hate how words are typed out, because they can be taken as the exact opposite of what they were supposed to be.

I had this crazy notion that I'm in a place of liked-minded people who would support each other when they needed it. I thought I am in a place or community where intelligent people are. But I am wrong. One person up there is just a "smart-ass". But I'm starting to realize that once you get past a certain number of people, its not a community anymore.

What's the saying? 'You're never so lonely as you are in a city full of people'.

I'm an idealist. I believe karma will do its stuff. I believe in equality, kindness and compassion.

I can't remember saying one mean thing or cursed someone in the past 2 years. And now I feel really bad for all the people who say something that gets misconstrued and everyone turns on them.

I feel sorry for her.

Sweet Escape

Super blogger (that would be me) hasn't updated with a new blog for a few days, so here we go!

I had an amazing weekend. Our trip was surprisingly good.. I wasn't expecting it to be that good, though hehehe! We were having fun the whole time (like normal). Remember I mentioned from my previous entries that this year will consist of a lot of traveling? Yes, that's what i have been wanting to do. And hopefully, I can spend my birthday in Boracay, together with Hectril . I just hope. :)

Fresh air, sunshine, good food, booze, and livin' the life of the party in Boracay can't go wrong.

The Places:
Day 1 - Wassennar Resort in Kalibo(did i spell it right?)
Day 2 - Jawili Falls (Morning; Boracay Island (Afternoon)
Day 3 - Sampaguita Garden

The Music:
Sweet Escape - Gwen Stefani
Take You There - Sean Kingston
Starz in Their Eyes - Just Jack

***this Montage will be edited soon, as well with the length of the songs.I can only upload three songs since I'm using a free account. I apologize if you're like "bitin" with the music. But don't sweat.. I can do something about that. ;)

Do You Have A Perfect Job?

Eventually....

we discover there are no perfect jobs. Why? Because people only pay us to do things they can't, or don't want to do. If there were no problems to solve, our jobs wouldn't exist.

So.... if you don't like your work, you have two options:

1. Change your attitude.
2. Change your job.


Some of my friends realized that, and I think..right now, they are happier with their new job. :D

I Am Miss Mood Swings

Ever feel like you are supposed to be enjoying things and something else came out from nowhere and ruin it? This is how I feel right now. Like I'm so down?

This is the first time in a long time I don't want to "own" my feelings...but I do and they're here. Slowly...I feel like I'm falling into pieces? I hope not yet. Because I don't know how to put myself back together. *sigh*. Ok..this must be moood swings. I think.



On the brighter side of things:
We are off to a sweet escape today- Nature tripping. Yeah! hope it would be all fun. I'd dump you guys some pics when i come back on Monday. Have a fun weekend everyone!