I hate what's going on with me these past few days. Everything seems not to work out right. Everything! Part of me is negative..and there is a very small part of me IS trying to be positive. I thought to myself "maybe they're trying to get it right first time around".
I'm still sick. I had my health appraisal again yesterday. And this morning I went back to see my doc. Lots of blood tests..and even stress test. I had a terrible chest pain. It seems like there is something in my chest.. maybe I strained some muscles. Well yes my muscles don't get enough blood..and I am in agony. It's Also known as Angina, so there was like a squeezing pain in my chest..I could also feel the pain in my shoulders, arms, neck, and back. Ugh. I even had the worst sleep last night because of these hideous slicing pains. I hope my boyfriend doesn't read this. I just don't want him to worry. We were together after his work.. picked him up from his office..went to buy diapers for his baby. He is a busy guy and appreciate the time he had spent with me today.. his undivided time, that is. Lately, he seems moody and I truly understand why. And I don't know when would be the best time that I can joke around with him.. I just hope I could see him smile and laugh again. A loud laugh with no pretenses...no faking. I miss him. I miss the old "him".. the one who talks alot..and laughs laughs laughs. Shit.. I really need a wand, and wave it so that everything will be better for him.
I'm still craving for my night life. Honestly, I miss going out..ya know..the real party (don't get me wrong here..I love the changes in me, but sometimes I need to go out)..I'm severely antisocial and overbusy now. Why? because i'm saddled with work! a girl's gotta live, ya know.
anyway, I hate making posts like these, but I just wanted to make a note that I'm always bitchin', I'm inlove and I am just totally overwhelmed and totally like, OMFG. Zombie shit for brains, really. you don't want to have to talk to me right now. Hah.
things SHOULD level out soon. i think.
I miss my giggly people-pestering & curious self.