I think it's in my nature to be pessimistic, I always have accepted this as part of who I am and have never tried changing it. I always though that it will be easier to expect the worst and prepare for it, and feel I could come out on top in the end. I am not into any race... so there's no need need to win, although it has taken me years to figure that out.
I always knew and felt that my life has been so full of love, joy and luck as of late.. I don't even know why I haven't cared so much about it. oh well. but I can be nothing but grateful. I have been surrounded with the most caring, loving people that I could ever ask for. Also, I love my current job, I love my family, friends, boyfriend and I love myself. This does not mean that I will not turn back into my old ways, what I'm saying is I'm just going to put them into a side burn.
So as for now, I open myself to all of the great things that the world has to offer me. No more questions, no more doubts. Just believing. and yeah, prepare for the worst, I guess. That's life, it's full of surprises.