I'm Cautiously Happy

Daammnn backache! Sometimes i wish I were a worm!

Oh me, oh my.. So, I have been feeling like complete shit lately.. maybe my friend was right, but sometimes it just makes me feel worse..

oh, decisions. this or that. up or down. afterward or backward.
the only thing I know as a matter of fact is that my back hurts... but not even as painful as how I felt lately.

Yesterday I have realized that I'm in an interesting period of personal growth and introspection. No matter what I feel not much more clear about anything than I did back 7 months ago, but I think I've figured a few things out. Especially about relationships. Also, my friend circle is growing and I no longer want to be alone. I'm not feeling as restless. The dynamics of my last relationship were so screwed up that I have forgotten, a little, how to be a girlfriend... in some ways, that is. I'm second-guessing things, over thinking things, blah blah blah. But, it's good.

So my motto in life has always been:

"EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON!" (lol)

Often times I sure as hell can't figure out those reasons, but I have faith in fate that things happen as they are meant to,... bad or good.

Maybe I shall also adopt the mantra:

"NO MORE SADNESS! NO MORE SADNESS! NO MORE SADNESS!" (please.. if possible i don't wanna be sad)

I am going to synchronize those two sentences, chant them, grit my teeth,follow my instincts, and suck it all in. Then hopefully by the end of the day yours truly will be puking fluffy cotton candy, have pink unicorns coming out of my ears, and be shooting rainbow laser beams out of my eyeballs.

Well, that's my goal, anyhow. We shall see what happens....

On a happier note:
Lol. My friend commented on my previous entry which made me laugh. also,my boyfriend has been taking care of me and treating me like a princess, which has made things much much easier on me. Things are ok now. I love my boy so much!

Hah! Try taking him away from me and I swear I will take you to the grave with me!

lol!